changes

sorry to those of you who want to keep tabs on me and i have not been doing a good job at all at keeping you updated. i would say i did not tell the truth in my last entry and telling you whats really going on deep inside. well things have been a little bit crazy. after about a week of sleepless nights and i believe intense spiritual warfare (my roomate said i was asleep one night with an angry look on my face), some depression it just intensified to where i could not sleep, concentrate, i was very emotional and anxious, my eating pattern was off. i really didnt have weapons ready and my prayers to God were few. I wanted to be in control and believe i was until it was too much. the bottom line is the program that i was in it was not safe to be there for me and it was best i come home and take some time to kind of regroup for a bit. i just got really sick and my body physically could not handle even the littlest things. A lot of different things are running through my head right now. God knew this was going to happen and has had his hand in it all. One of my dear friends from the institute was willing to drive me to chicago, where my dad took a train met me and drove me home. To those of you who supported me financially for the institute,i do not have an answer yet but will talk to the financial guy in the morning as to what will happen to your money. I miss my class dearly and long to be back with them. I may go back in january but don't know if that is possible depending where the Lord has me. I would appreciate prayers and am willing to talk to you if you want. So.....i am home in kalamazoo, MI for right now and i pray that i will be content for this season and journey in my life. sorry to if this comes as a shock to most of you, love you all!